When Michelle and I were in Seoul for Michael’s adoption we took the time to go on a Korean Food Tour with a guide and some friends we met along the journey. The guide spent the day presenting a variety of food and dining experiences. My favorite was the back, back alley off an alley bar that served a Korean drink called Makgeolli. As we sipped the lightly carbonated rice drink and ate different marinated tofu we shared stories with our new American friends and Korean guides. We bonded and friends and discussed bonding our children that we were meeting in the next day.
The next day we got to spend time with Michael. How did we bond? Food. We fed him little gerber puffs and he fed us. It built familiarity and trust.
One of the most popular questions we receive about Jacob, after language, is what does he like to eat. Yes food is different 7,636 miles away. There are different tastes, different smells, different preparation, different types of fruits and vegetable. However, there is something innate in humans, we want to try different foods and drink. And this is the point. This exploration is one of the many ways to bound and connect with anyone from a different place.
Jacob wants to try all types of food. We have developed a signing system for the foods he likes, doesn’t like and food he finds so, so. He has given the thumbs up to Michelle’s Chinese soups. He thought the frozen pork buns were so, so (the bun was a bit too chewy. He was intrigued by the process of building his own taco. There are many other examples. Of course he is 12, so he is eating us out of house and home.
On our Korean restaurant tour we went had a traditional Confucian meal. This meal was more than just an exploration of food, but a ritual of honor, manners and the bonding of family and friends. While we were in our room eating, I was watching a family who was celebrating their first birthday. The celebration was food and future. It was interesting to watch as you could see the joy in the birthday boy for being recognized as the point of honor with his family.
Time spent to eat a meal is what keeps the family bound.