Wahe's World

Day Two (Evening): A Visit to Hope Healing Home

Today we got to do something truly amazing.  We got to spend the day volunteering at Hope Heeling Home in Bu Wei (jut outside of Beijing).  We had the opportunity to meet with the founder of the New Hope Foundation, Joyce and Robin.  New Hope is where Max spent the past two years before transitioning back to his birth providence earlier this month. Joyce, Robin, the nurses and the caretakers really demonstrate how much they care for the children. You can tell by the stories they tell.  They cite names, dates, what care they needed, described their little personalities like I used to be able to cite baseball statistics. Joyce, Robin and their staff are blessed in what they do.

During out time we were able to see where Max slept, ate, and played. We toured the adjoined Heartbrdige Healing Home were Max was originally admitted and where he recovered from his surgery. We heard about how great the doctor was who took care of Max’s recovery.  There was a little pre-school where the kids learned their ABCs, read books and did projects. The facility was bright and warm in spirit.  There was an giant playground. Alex and Michael will be jealous to see the jungle gym equipment that Max got to play.

We got to play with some of the children.  We spent about two hours in a playroom with seven kids ranging in age from 18 months to three years old.  There were five caretakers in the room attending to them.  However, when Michelle and I walked in and sat on the floor the kid’s attention turned to us.  They didn’t miss a beat.  They had a new audience.  They also gave me practice about being attentive to more than two kids at one.  They sat on our laps. I tried to read to them. They sang with us to such hits as wheels and the bus, head-shoulders-knees & toes, and twinkle-twinkle. We could tell they must sing such songs in pre-school and with their caretakers.  The kids went into dancing and doing the hand motions for each song.

What really warmed our hearts was when one of the caretakers recognized us as Max’s parents.   She recognized us from the picture-pillow we sent this past winter.  The fact we didn’t speak the same language didn’t slow us down a bit.  She showed us some pictures, showed us where he played, introduced us to the other caretakers.  She was very proud to have met us and very proud of Max.  We feel blessed to have met her.  I did show her some video and picture of Alex and Michael. She recognized them as Max’s brothers. She gave Michelle big hugs and wished us well.

Robin took us out to a great little restaurant.  He ordered a few different dishes for us while realizing we were not being too adventurous.  The food was very flavorful.  There was a great little desert of deep fried apple slices, rolled in sugar.  When delivered we dunked the pieces in water which gave the dessert an sweet crunch.

The best part of the day was to hear from Joyce, Robin and the nurse on how sweet and special Max is to everyone.  They said it was sad to see him leave.  I hope we demonstrated the love and care we will give him as well as out appreciation for everything they do to care for these children who need a little help to get started on their journey.

Michelle and Stefan after lunch in Bu Wei

Tomorrow we are off to Hefie. Less then 36 hours until Max is in our arms.

Day Two (morning): Hope Healing Home

This morning we are off to visit the Hope Healing Home and the Love Without Boundaries Heartbridge Unit.  Theses two organizations, sharing a common facility, play an instrumental part in Max’s life journey.  And Max is just one of hundreds of children who Hope and Love Without Boundaries have shared a signifiant amount of love and care to them give them a chance at life.  These children may not have had a chance without caring organizations like these. We are excited but honored to be able to visit the people who have cared for Max and meet some of the other children who are also being given this chance.  We know some parts of today may be heart-wrenching,  but, it will be a joy to share with them our thanks and appreciation   We will be posting later today about our experience.

BTW – Only 48 hours left before Max is in our arms forever.

Day 1: We made it to Beijing

Waking up at 4:00 a.m. is easy to do when you have the right motivation. The alarm clock went off and I was out of bed before the radio announce could finish the line, “good morning its 4:00 am on …”  We got dressed, zipped up the suitcases and woke-up Alex and Michael just enough to say good-bye.

The journey to Beijing went smoothly.  There was a delay here or there, but that can be expected. The cool thing while waiting is that we met another family making the journey to China to bring home their little girl. There must be a look that adoptive parents have that allows us to recognize each other.  We hope to connect with them in Guangzhou .

We didn’t arrive at our hotel until 6:00 PM Beijing time. So we got settled, grabbed a bite to eat and are off to bed.  Tomorrow we are off to visit the priviate care facility where Max was for most of the past two years. He his not there now.  We will take custody of him  on Monday in Hefei.     Send all your positive thoughts, prayers, and  energies his way on Sunday, at 8 pm Central Std. Time (USA time).   That is when he meets us, and will be our’s forever.

Here is a picture of Michelle.  The third such picture of her leaving for the airport.  That was some 24 odd hours ago.  Neither of us look that good at this point.  Off to fetch some zzzzzzs.

Twas the night before

Twas the night before we left for China with care

To greet little Max, sending our blessings over the air

The bags are all packed and the clock set to strike four

One more check on the boys to hear their little sonres

The grandparents are all settled

The pets are all feed

It is now time for me to go off to bed

I will dream of Max with this thought in my head

Waiting is the hardest part …..

One would think by the third adoption I would be used to waiting.  Hurry up, complete paperwork and wait. Receive more paper work, complete it and wait. Go to a meeting, get instructions for the next step and wait.  However, here we sit.  We are less then 48 hours from leaving and that clock can not tick quick enough.  Work has kept me busy.  But I think my colleagues will be glad to see me off for the next several week.   To be honest I am ready too.  I am ready to do my David Puddy impersonation (from Seinfield) on the airplane and sit and stare at the seat infront of me for a few hours.  Get a chance to have my mind wander through it’s tangled webs. On the other hand I know I will be too excited.  What will we see in China?  How will we be welcomed? What is the Hope Healing Home like (Max’s orphanage)?  Will we get tired of staying in the same hotel for seven nights? No matter the answers to these questions; no matter how much or little rest I get on the 14 hour plane ride; no matter how much I meditate,  I know the plane ride back will be the last step to completing out family of five. Waiting? Ya, I can do that!

Our Itinerary

Michelle here.       Here is our itinerary.     We’ll be in 3 cities over the course of our 16 day trip.

April 11:   Fly out of Chicago, nonstop to Beijing.

April 12:    Arrive in Beijing at 2:40 pm, local time.

April 13:    Tour New Hope Healing Home.   This is the foster home where Max has lived.   We are looking forward to meeting his caretakers, meeting the founders, and having the opportunity to say ‘thank you’ for the profound, life saving work they do.    Unfortunately, Max has recently been transferred back to his home province.   This breaks my heart, but that’s for another blog post.   This is normal, but it still makes my heart hurt.

April 14:    flying to Max’s home province of Anhui.

April 15:   GOTCHA DAY!     We will meet, and take custody of Max !   Yahoo!

April 16-18:    Do a combo of meeting at government offices, to process Chinese paperwork, and tour.  Most importantly, support Max in his transition, and live in the moment.

April 19:      Receive Max’s Chinese passport, and fly to Guangzhou.

April 20-25:   Do a combo of meeting at government offices to process the US side of things.      The process includes a required medical exam, and processing his visa to be allowed to enter the US.

April 26:       Fly out of Guangzhou, to Beijing.    Then hop on a nonstop plane to Chicago.    When those airplane wheels touch US soil, Max will be  a US citizen!     Arrive in Chicago at 4 pm on April 26.

One funny story in all this:    Ever since the first meeting, when we were considering adopting from China (this was back in 2006), all staff said that there were blackout dates for travel.   These blackout dates are during a large trade show in Guangzhou.    Well, that trade show IS going on  when we are there.    So, there was the policy that we could not travel at that time, and would have to wait until after the show.    Wait!    You know, once that travel call comes, that’s not in our vocabulary!   BUT…….here’s the caviat:    I have attended  this Guangzhou show twice.    When I had my business full time, I went to this show to make factory contacts.   This has proved to be the thing that our agency has said OK for us to travel.    I assured our agency rep that we would be fine.    I convinced her that since I navigated this already,  we could handle being in the city during the show.   So, we are.

It’s All About Perspective

Stefan here.

I was chatting with a friend yesterday. He asked if I was excited about the trip to China to bring Max to his new home.  My friend seemed confused when I didn’t respond with an immediate, profound, “Yes!” Instead I spent a moment to self-reflect before I answered.

Of course I am excited. When we traveled for Alex, our first son, I was excited, anxious and scared.  I assume that no matter how a family is formed, this is a natural feeling for a first time parent. However, Alex could smell my hesitation and did not like it.  He acted out in fear and frustration as we bonded.

With our second son, Michael, I was at the other end of the spectrum.   I thought about how to act, what to say and even how to breath.  I was calm, patient and trusting.  Probably to a fault. As he slept and slept, I missed how this was the subtlety of his initial grieving process.

Like most of my relations, we tend to over think just about everything. Hence the moment of pause before I responded to the question about being excited.  To be honest, I have not over-thought this adoption (well maybe before the actual, yes we should bring a third child into our family).  I know with a special needs child, there will be different the types of challenges then the previous two journeys. But there will also be the same type of chalenges.  In either case, it is about the perspective.  In the five years of keeping this blog I have grown from an over-excited first time parent, to a calm, cool, collected soon-to-be-Dad of three.  I have become more comfortable and confident in being a Dad.  I have a good understanding of balancing my priorities and I am ready to head out that door (largely because Michelle has planned and organized almost everything) later this upcoming week.

With Alex he reflected my excitement, fear and angst. With Michael, he reflected the calm and trust. With Max … well we will have to wait and see.  I just know if Michelle and I have taken this little guy from:

to this …

Alex recreating his photo from September 22, 2008.

Max will have a great life being part of Wahe’s World! And I know that is the best perspective to have.

What I Learned This Easter

Stefan here.

Over the years Easters have come and gone for me.  It was usually a quick visit with family. Finding some eggs and eating a  ham dinner. And then hitting the road to go back home.  Some years a Church service may have been thrown into the mix. This Easter we did something different.  Michelle, Alex, Michael and I stayed home.  We didn’t have our family come visit.  We decided to just to enjoy our family of four before Max comes to his new home. What was odd was the lesson I learned today.

First a little background ….  Michelle and I had been “shopping” for a church for several years.  It really started when we first were married.  We knew it was something we should do.  Where as neither of us practiced with a religious congregation,  we both knew the importance of spirituality, reflection and faith. When Alex and Michael joined us, our Mothers motivated us to have the boys baptized.  We just had to figure out the right fit for our family. We attended a few services at churches of various Christian denominations.  We found it was not the denomination that was important to us, it was the quality of the church leaders of who made up the congregation. What we found was New Life Church.  They welcomed us with open arms and they continue to engage us in a way that has grown our faith over the past two years.  They baptized Alex and Michael where my sister and brother-in-law represented us as their godparents. They have given us the support to go down the path to bring Max home, and they continue to teach us in new ways.

So what did I learn today?  It is not about asking God to do something for me, but witnessing how God works through me and through others. This is something I already knew, but not something I have directly correlated to God. It really comes to the point of how we are able to empower each other. Be it a grand gesture or a simple courteous act.  Though our adoption journeys we have received gifts from family, friends and complete strangers.   These gifts have ranged from a very simple gesture to something profound, that left us in awe and humbled.     These are the people that I reflect on, and who I have been empowered to be a great father.

Max’s journey has come to us through the China Special Needs program. Max has a whole cadre of people I am thankful  People who did not have to help. But they did. Love Without Boundaries sponsored Max’s corrective surgery, and literally saved his life. The New Hope Foundation provided Max with a home and care while he recovered and where we waited for us to find him. The Great Wall China Adoption spent the time to answer our questions and clear the path for our journey. Our parents and extended family offered unconditional support as we surprised them with the news that we still had room in our hearts to grow our family. My co-workers have provided their support by reminding me what is truly important and taking care of the workload as I set off.  There are our many friends from our previous adoption journeys who have offered advice as well as hand-me-downs. Our long-time friends have continuously but respectively offered their kind words and thoughts.   And of course our new friends from New Life Church have offered their kindess as well.  Every act does not have to be about giving something material. A kind word of encouragement and a hand on my should is empowering me just as much as the the thoughts of the kind people who gave to Max’s surgery and care during the first two years of his life.

It is these people who in turn has given me the confidence to take the time, kindly look them in the eye and ask them how they are doing.  It is sometimes this simple recognition – this sharing – that make our human experience … well human.  We are here to support each other. To learn from each other. And to value each other.  This is the greatest gift that we can offer each other and a great lesson to learn and a day like this.

And Max Makes Three

We are so excited to be able to grow our family again.  We are blessed to be able to be bringing Max to his new home in the next few weeks.  Max comes to us after Michelle and I realized we still had room in our hearts.  We just needed that little nudge. In October our agency called and asked us our thoughts of giving this cute, precious little guy a chance to grow with us …

This is one of the first pictures we saw of Max. We knew that sparkle was knowing that Michelle, Alex, Michael and I were waiting for him.

We sent Max a care package that included sending a cake. Looks like he and Michael will be buddies around cake cutting opportunities.