Wahe's World

Playing Tourist

Today we got to play tourist with our new friends Kristin and Nick.  They are also fellow Wisconsinites here to adopt their son. We had all good intentions in getting an early start to the day but Michelle and I didn’t set our alarm and actually slept-in. We need to enjoy it while we can. The reward was a plesent mid-morning breakfast.

After lunch we boarded the subway to Suwon.  This is a city about 1.5 hours south of Seoul.  So picture jumping on a Subway line from Madison to the suburbs of Chicago.  In Suwon we visited the Korean Folk Village.  This was similar to the village that Michelle and I visited in April. However, this village had a lot more exhibits that spanned the whole of the Korean Peninsula. They had a working Buddhist Temple, beautiful botanical exhibits and they had performers who recreated traditional Korean Weddings among other things.  They also had a wish stone.  Michelle wished our Forever Family well on June 30, 2010.

At the village there was a cool stone bridge to cross over the river.  It looked fun and a little dangerous. i really wanted to cross it  But after reading the warning sign Michelle dissuaded me from making the trek.  Technically we are pregnant on paper. We took the next bridge where tripping was a little less likely.

After the folk village we visited the Hwaseong Fortress Wall.  This was a wall built in 1796 to guard the Kings father’s tomb.  The wall encircled the entire city at the time.  We hiked towards the top of a mountain and then took the Dragon Train back down to the bottom. The train ride offered amazing views of Suwon (which has over 1-million residents and now stretches far beyond those walls).

We then headed back to the Seoul and our hotel in Insadong.  We decided we better grab a bite to eat before getting back to the room.  We were afraid we wouldn’t have the energy to venture back out.  We found a little restaurant in one of the many bustling back-alleys off of Insadong. We actually took the advice of the tour guide book and hit the jackpot of all traditional Korean cuisine. For all  those fellow Korean travelers, you may know it by the place were they make giant dumplings in the window. It was great food! Alex would have loved the dumplings (he is a big Manduguk fan). We all enjoyed our meals and washed it down with a Hite.

Tomorrow we get to be tourists again.  Not that we need to after tonights meal, but we are going on an eating tour with a local Korean. We will be visiting three place with him.  I won’t be surprised if he takes us to the dumpling place.  Tomorrow night we may go to the City Hall Park and watch the South Korean World Cup soccar match.  They are estimating 1-million poeple out celebrating this match that is being played at 11:00 PM Seoul Time.   If we don’t post tomorrow night, you will know why 🙂

Almost Ready

Well, we’re less than 24 hours from take off, and we’re almost ready.    It’s amazing how long we anticipated “the call”, and then how much there is still to do when it finally comes.

We’ll update with pictures when we arrive.    We have our first meeting with Michael and his Foster Mom scheduled for 9:30 a.m. this Thursday.    That’s something like 8:30 pm Wednesday for all you US folks.

Until then, adios and see you on the other side of the world.

TRAVEL CALL!

The sweetest words I’ve heard all year, “Your son is ready to Travel.   You can book your flight tickets at any time.”

YEAH!     We rec’d the call at 10 am today.

We are flying out on Korean Air on Tuesday, June 22, and arriving back in the US on Wednesday, June 30th.

Phil from KHRC travel worked his magic, and booked us at the Somerset Hotel.   He had a cancellation, and we were able to snag it.    He said we were “very, very lucky” to get a hotel reservation at this time of year.    Only one other Hotel was available.    So…when a Korean tells me I’m lucky,   I.Am.Lucky.

Another fantastic thing about our trip—another family in our agency rec’d their travel call today!    We are traveling together!    We have been in contact over the last month with our new-found friends, so we both knew we may be traveling at about the same time.    Well, we are!   They also live in Wisconsin, so we are flying on the exact same flights to/from Korea, and staying at the same hotel.   Woo hoo.   Travel Buddies.

Ok….and one more thing…..the Doosan Bears are playing while we are there.   So we get to go to another Korean baseball game.

I don’t think I can take any more good news today, but I would take the good news of my vacuum cleaner belt arriving in the mail.    The dust bunnies are turning into large tumbleweeds.

Well, better go and run around in circles, trying to focus on packing, at the same time, saying to myself:

“Our day is almost here!”

VISA ISSUED!

I have been calling the state Department in Washington, DC daily for about two weeks.   Every time I call, I have gotten the same answer:  “no. nothing yet.”

Well, I made my daily call yesterday, and the person said his visa was ISSUED!    I asked him to repeat this statement about 3 times.    My hands started shaking.   I started crying.    This was a real surprise, because usually we get notice when an appointment is scheduled.    Well, the appointment was scheduled, made, and issued before anything showed up in the US system.     WOO HOO!

I didn’t believe my ears, so had to call the office back to confirm!    This time, I immediately started crying, and I verified, “you mean he’s ready to come home?”   She stated, “Yes.  He’s Ready.”    That was all I wanted to hear.

What does all this mean?    It means that after 6 1/2 months, our son’s paperwork has been processed.    It’s done in both the US side, and the Korean side.

So now all we do is stare at the telephone, and wait for it to ring.   C’mon Travel Call!    We’re ready to come and get you Micheal!

Perspective

Michelle here.

Hopefully, as I write this post, we are officially on the home stretch of bringing our Michael home forever.    This has been quite a roller coaster of a ride this time around.     When we were waiting for Alex, our wait from referral to Travel Call was 2 1/2 months.    It’s unbelievable how much things have changed in the last year and a half.    Last week, we reached the 6 month mark, and it’s likely we have another month to go.      Entering into our second adoption, we thought it would be easier…..we knew how the process worked, we were confident in our new-found parenting skills, and we’ve been to Seoul, so the traveling would be familiar.     When we got our referral for Michael, we thought we’d travel in 4-6 months.   OK.   Doable.   We would prefer the 2/3 months that we got Alex, but we can handle 4-6 months.      A few months after our referral, we saw the writing on the wall that the wait was going to be longer than originally stated.    That’s when reality hit.    I got depressed.    I got sad.    I just wanted to hold my baby.    We waited long enough.    That’s when we started to talk about taking a trip to Korea early to meet Michael.    We talked to others who did it.   We talked to grandparents, who would be the caretakers of Alex while we were gone.   Stefan looked at his work schedule.     We talked with our adoption agency.     After about a month of consideration, we decided to take the trip.    We booked our tickets.   We secured the guesthouse lodging.   And we were sooooo glad we committed to the trip when we did, because our Korean agency stopped allowing extra visits right after we got our plane tickets.

Fast Forward to 6 weeks after our first visit with Michael.     There is an anxiousness I still feel to bring him home, but there is a deep sense of peace that I have.   I (and we) are so glad we were able to take the trip.    I feel peace because he’s healthy.   I feel peace because I know he’s well loved by his foster family.   I feel peace because he’s real.    I feel peace because I can still feel him in my arms, I can still smell him, and I can still see his gaze into my eyes.     Leaving him was extremely difficult, but I hold onto that peace, and that fills my heart.

The trip was also an opportunity to enjoy Korea without the stress of having to bring a baby home.    This was our trip of a lifetime.   We enjoyed Seoul, we fell in love with it, and we felt it.    We feel that we know Korea.    We know it’s people.   We know it’s neighborhoods.   We know it’s history.   We know it’s culture.  We know the love we have for Korea.

This adoption journey has taken a lot out of me emotionally, and every day, it challenges me in ways I never thought I was capable of surviving.    But I am a wiser, stronger, more grounded, and more balanced person because of it.    I have learned that I can be sad.   I have learned that I do not have to fight against the sadness.   It’s OK.   It can be there, but it is not a part of me.   It resides beside me, and not in me.

We feel that Michael really knows what’s going on.   He knows.    Alex knows.    Alex understands.    Alex remembers.   Stefan and I  are ready for this new chapter in our lives, and we are ready to support our two sons in any way that is needed.    We, as parents are ready to grow right beside them.    We are ready to learn from each other, to be the leaders in the journey we’re paving for ourselves as a family of four.

Honestly, I do still get negatively caught up in the length of our wait, so, to help turn those feelings around, I think about how far we’ve come.    We are on the home stretch.   A few weeks isn’t much when I look at how far we’ve come.    We started our adoption journey in early 2006.    Yes, that’s 4 years ago!   We started in China.    We switched to Korea.    Now, our family is almost complete.      Just a few weeks remain.    Finally.

Through the 3 adoption processes we have been through, I have learned.     I have learned to release the negative and uncertainty.   I have learned to allow the positive into the void where the negative used to be.    I have peace.   I have joy.   I have love.   I am ready to love again.

Our Cutie

Another Photo of our Mr. Cutie.

Saying Goodbye for Now.

The Magical M & M’s

Michelle Here.

Remember  one of my previous posts where I stated I was not above using food to coerce my boys to get them to do what I want?     Well, we are using M & M’s as a way in “incent” Alex to go potty on his potty chair.    And it’s working (hee hee hee).

Alex has been wearing his underwear for a week.    We tell him that if he goes potty in his chair he gets 2 “candies”.    That is totally what is getting him to use his throne.    He has been wildly successful, and it’s mostly due to the fact that  he will get the coveted “candy”.     As he is sitting, he will state over and over “candy?   candy?   candy?”     I state back, “Yes, if you go, you will get candy.”    When he produces a candy-worthy action, he stands up, and rejoices, “candy!”.     He then shuffles, underwear and pants at his ankles, over to the bathroom cabinet where the little morsels reside, and holds out his hands.   It’s a hoot to watch.

After three days,  we took him out in public with underwear…..a very brave act for these parents.   Well….success!    So once again, I’m using food to manipulate my son.    We’ll worry about the needed therapy sessions  many years from now.    For now, it’s off to the store to buy more big boy underwear, and to stock up on “candy”.

Here are pics of our candy-obsessed angel.    He’s too “shy” for mommy to take a picture of him in his underwear, so I’m posting random shots from the last few weeks.

This water-loving boy was having a great time with the rainbarrel water. Although he kept asking me to turn up the water......

Hey mom, where's my candy?

This is what happens too many days of rain, cold, and cabin fever---we take the outdoors, indoors! And it's even more fun when you're in your birthday suit!

My little Man.

Playing on a Rocket

Why I Love My Mommy

Why I Love My Mommy
By Alex

My Mother is my teacher.

The provider of healthy and fun things to eat.  

The jester who makes me laugh.

The Queen who laughs at my jokes.

She is the one who keeps me on the go and the one who keeps going even if I tire her out.

She is the healer of my wounds, both physical and psychological.

My Mother is the one who loves me no matter what I do.

 

Brothers Already

Michelle Here.

As you know, Alex has been talking a lot about Michael.    It continues to amaze me how much our 28 month old son comprehends about this notion of having a brother.

As an example, here’s the conversation we had today:

To preface, Alex loves car keys.   We gave him his own set of keys on a keychain, and he keeps track of where they are.   He carries them around, and plugs them into any crack, crevice, hole he can find, and then proceeds to “start” his car, and “drive” it.

Once again, he was playing with his keys, and here’s what he said:

A:                  Drive.  Car.

Mommy:    Are you driving your car?

A:                  Yeah.

Mommy:     Where are you driving your car?

A:                   Michael.   Pick Up.

Mommy:      You’re driving to Pick Up Michael?    Where are you taking him?

A:                    Home.

Oh Boy.   That’s when this Momma had to stop, and wipe the tears from her eyes!    Also, whenever he sees an airplane (in the sky, or a photo of one)  he’ll point to the airplane, and state, “Michael.  Pick Up”.      When we ask him, “Where is Michael?” he will state, “Korea” in his cute little 2 year old voice.      Stefan and I often  refer to Alex as “the Wise One”.  And we  wonder what Michael will be.   Time will tell……….

Go Doosan Bears! This is the professional Korean team we saw play while in Seoul.

A. LOVES his swim lessons!

A photo to prove that he does stop moving from time to time.

Acting like a monkey at the park.

Helping Grandma feed the squirrels.

Riding the lawn mower with Grandpa. Lovin the "real" steering wheel.

The Magic of Gerber Puffs

Michelle Here.

I learned from my mother, a long time long ago, that the way to a boy’s heart is through is stomach.

So here starts a side story of our meeting Michael:

Wanting to have as many tricks as possible when we met Michael, we packed some of Alex’s favorite foods.

Let me tell you, I am now a HUGE fan of Gerber Puffs! When Michael’s Foster mother described his personality to us, she stated he likes to eat (hee hee). That’s when I said to myself, “ahhh. I’m glad we have the magic Gerber Puffs!”
Initially, Michael was pretty skeptical of these strange looking people ooo-ing and ahh-ing over him  (and in momma’s case….crying over him). He wouldn’t let us get too close, and would get anxious if we eased closer to him.
Well….pull out the Puffs, and it was a different story! He would take the puffs from us by the handful, and stuff  them into his mouth. His Foster Mother thought that was hysterical, and was probably saying to us in Korean, “See, I told you so”.     He continued to eat the Puffs through our entire time together.

As he was chowing down on the magical treat, we would inch ourselves closer and closer to him until we were just inches from him…..Ahhhh…..sneaky parents!

By the time we met him on our second meeting, we suspect he saw us, and said to himself, “OH! It’s the puff people! I’m Hungry!”

During the second meeting, I decided to get really sneaky. I would put one in my lips, and he would allow me to get really close to him.   This, we think, was a sacrifice he made in order to get the delicious morsels. I even got to kiss his cheek and his hand a few times.  He would look straight into my eyes, all the while pulling the puff from my lips.
And you saw the picture in our previous post……you know the one where his hand is in my mouth…..well…..guess what he’s looking for!
So I will go on record stating that I am not beyond using food as a way to encourage either of my sons, (or husband) to do something I want him to do.

Notice Daddy moving Michael closer to us while Mommy is distracting him with The Puffs

Just a darn cute picture.

Life, Through the Eyes of a 2 year Old

Alex has taken quite an enthusiasm for having a little brother! We’ll be grateful if he’s half as excited about it when the reality of actually having a brother is here.
On that note, we have a funny story for you. Since we arrived home, the three of us have been watching the video of our experience with Michael. We connect the camcorder to the TV, and we can watch it. Alex has been asking, about every hour, to see the video. As the video plays, he narrates what’s happening.

As a side note, Alex has been very aware of emotions that people have. For instance, he is learning that people can be happy, sad, scared, or angry.   He is often stating whatever emotion people are having.   Well, in the video, he sees Mommy crying, and he later sees Michael crying. Here is the conversation that followed:

A:                   Mommy? Cry? Sad?
Mommy:     No, Mommy is happy to see Michael.
A:                   Mommy? Happy?
Mommy:     Yes, Mommy is Happy.
A:                   Michael, Cry? Happy?
Mommy:     No, Michael is scared, because he does not know who Mommy and Daddy are.                YOU also cried and were scared when you first met Mommy and Daddy.
A:                  No. (pause) Happy.
Mommy:     Oh! I’m glad you were happy the first time you met Mommy and Daddy.

Well, we are glad he remembers our first meeting as moment of being happy……Mommy and Daddy don’t quite remember it that way. We do have to admit, being first time parents with Alex, maybe he is right, he was not the scared person….WE were!

The first time we met Alex: September, 2008.