Wahe's World

Our Family Update

Michelle Here.

First—I feel the need to update you on our family happenings.     This last month has been a roller coaster of a month.    To sum it all up:   My father was diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer.     He had major surgery last week, which lasted 8 hours, and two surgeons,  and he’s recovering at the hospital.     It’s been a long 8 weeks or so, with the never-ending pre-surgery testing, and all the uncertainty of his prognosis.     Well, that was the deal.    For me, this is the first time I have been faced, square in the eyes, with a major sickness of someone I so deeply love.    I have been shuffling between his hospital (3 hours away) and home.   He has a large mountain to climb, and he’s on his way.    If you’re the praying-type, please pray.    If you’re the positive energy-type, please send it by the bucketful.    We need it.  Here’s a link to his type of cancer.

http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BileDuctCancer/DetailedGuide/index

On a more happy note, we have confirmed that Michael’s Foster mother is viewing our blog….yeah!    We are so very happy, because that means that both Alex’s and Michael’s foster mothers are able to see photos of the boys.

So….here’s a whole bunch of photos, well, because I’m behind in my blogging, and I have a month’s worth to give you!      I feel at least a little productive, sitting in his hospital room.

Grandpa with M. and A. at the Farm.

Riding the tractor with Granpa at the farm.

Feeding the pigs at the farm. I love how Michael has his hand on Grandpa.

Playing a little ditty for Mommy.

Michael taking lessons on bicycle riding.

My little boy is growing so quickly!

Having a snack.

Giddy Up Mr. Moose

Partners in Crime. Get rice from pantry. Get pan from cupboard. Proceed to "cook" lunch.

Playin with a new toy.

September Fun

I love Michael's stance in this photo. The two boys were playing ping pong at the Y.

I have noticed that wrangling two little boys has evolved into a different level of activities.    With two boys, many Memberships now make it worthwhile to join.    For instance, we have joined the Madison Children’s Museum, which, by the way, it totally awesome.    The boys love it, and there are a wide range of activities that keeps them interested, even if we visit several times a month.     We have also joined the YMCA.    The boys love the kiddy pool, and we’ve enrolled both boys in swim lessons.    Swim lessons is old hat for Alex, and this is the first for Michael.    Well, Michael LOVES the water.    He acts silly, laughs, and doesn’t mind going under water.   It’s fun to witness.      Here are some photos from our latest excursions.

2 boys + Paint = a lot of fun

Alex giving his brotherly love to Michael

Playin in the water at the Children's Museum

Practicing for the big game.

My 3 boys

A Family Trip to the Farm

We are fortunate to have a great pumpkin farm just a few minutes from our house.    The boys LOVE it!   They have lots of other activities, besides pumpkins, that provide a lot of entertainment for two active little boys.

My 3 boys

Enjoying the Sun

Water Engineering is Serious Business.

My boy loves a Deere.

Choosing just the perfect pumpkin

Burying himself in Corn

A Visit with our New, Old Friends, the Hoopers

Michelle Here.

This journey of Adoption, and creating our family through adoption, has allowed us to meet countless amazing, wonderful people.

Kristin, Nick, and Evan Hooper are no exception.

Kristin and I “met” while we were anxiously awaiting our travel calls.    We each got matched to our kiddos at about the same time.    Our Social Worker connected us, so we could experience the looonnnnggg wait for our travel call together.     Kristin and I often joked, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we got our calls on the same day?   Yeah….ha ha ha”.

Well, fast forward a few months to June……we both knew we were close.    We both made whatever plans we could ahead of time, anticipating the ever-elusive “Call”.    We emailed each other daily.    We commiserated on the long wait daily.    Then, on June 18, 2010, at 9:08 am, Stefan and I got the “Call”.    “Your baby is ready to travel”, stated our Social Worker.    Tears.  Skipped heartbeats.   Elation.   Anxiety.  Pure Joy.     Fifteen minutes later, I recevied a call from Kristin where she stated, “Today’s the Day.”      My first reaction, in my adrenalin-induced state of mind was, “How did you know WE got our Travel Call?”    Kristin stated, “No, WE got our Travel Call!!”       Shouts.   More Tears.   Explatives Stated Loudly.

And that was the beginning, of  what I know, will be our lifelong friendship.

Since we got our Travel Calls on the same day, we were able to make plans at the same time.     Same flight?   Yup.     Same hotel?    Yup.     Same fun activities while we were in Seoul?   Yup.     And most amazingly…….we met our children at the SAME time.     We got our children forever at the SAME time.     We witnessed each of our child’s foster mothers cry and weep when they hugged and kissed their foster children for the very last time.   We rode the incredably, indescribably HARD van ride back to the hotel with our new kids at the SAME time.     We knocked on eachother’s hotel door, anxiously comparing notes on “how it’s going” those first few hours.     We sat next to eachother on the airplane home, each of us nervous, joyous, anxious, and relieved, coaching and supporting eachother on how to get through the totally gruesome airplane ride home with our new sons.

During our trip, we shared and witnessed our deepest fears, our deepest vulnerabilities, and our deepest, happiest moments.   The Hoopers are very special to us.

So…….last Sunday, we saw them for the first time since our trip.    They were able to make a stop at our house, and we got to catch up on the last two months, since our kiddos came home.      For me, it was like time stopped.   I felt an easy sense of familiarity.       I loved seeing them again.     They could have stayed for days, and it would have been too short.     We will get together again soon.    The time flew by so quickly that we forgot to pull out the camera until the very last 10 minutes of their visit.

So here are some photos.    Enjoy.

If you would like to visit the Hoopers’ blog, here’s the link.   http://hooperstoseoul.blogspot.com/

What you do not see is Kristin and Nick making funny faces to get the boys to smile. Â My kids: Â "Ha Ha Ha. Â Those people are so funny. Â Evan: Â "Why are you acting like that Mom and Dad?"

Seoul Brothers.

Hangin out and Havin fun

Alex is multitasking: holding a ball, smiling for the camera, and nudging Evan off if "his" toy.

Our Drool Monster.

Summer Fun and Settling In

Michelle Here.

Well, here’s to a long overdue post.    Things here are going well, and we’re settling into our new reality.    Or should I say our new balance of 4 humans in the Wahe household.

Alex has started to become more “himself”.     The first weeks that Michael was home, he was hyper-aware of his little bro.    He would always watch what Michael was playing with, what he was eating, if he was looking at him sideways, if he pooped, if he took 3 steps from the bedroom to the living room instead of 4 steps, and if he squealed a little too loudly.    Oh, and only a few of these are exagerations, but not all of them.   Then Alex would react in his big brotherly fashion, based on what Michael was doing.    Now, Alex is getting back to minding his own business, and the tension level is much better….both for him, and for me!

Instead of rambling some more, here are photos from the last 3 weeks….enjoy.

I'm playing around with Photoshop. Alex's best buddy, Grandpa.

Hammin it up.

Feeding goats.

Alex looovvveees the train at the zoo.

Riding the giraffe at the zoo.

Swimmin in our friends' pool.

Boy, it's hard to get 11 kids together in one photo.

This counts as getting them in a photo together, right?

Our Cutie.

Teeter-Tottering.

Enjoying a cookie. Yum. Yum.

Playing in the pool at the Y...they LOVE it!

This is what Alex does when we say, "Alex, go hug your brother."

Riding the carousel at the zoo.

Our attempt at a family photo.

Eating lunch with our friends, A., N., and D. The older kids ended up in the water table outside, so lunch consisted of minimal attire.

I've never been an advocate of arranged marriages, but I've changed my mind.  Don't you think these two would make a CUTE couple? And an added bonus....we would love our in-laws!

Finally a few action clips …

Stefan here …

I reprogrammed my first video game back in 1983. It wasn’t much but I never thought I would make a livelihood in computers. That is why I am a bit remiss to finally be posting video to our blog after three years. It really is not a difficult thing to do. But it never got a priority. However, when we were in Korea in June we heard both Michael’s and Alex’s foster mothers say they would love to see video of the boys as they grow up. Nothing motivates me more then the wishes of a mother.

Pool Fun! (1 of 4)
One of the boys favorite activities is to play in the pool in the side yard. Actually, anything outside is good. The pool has been a godsend on these hot, humid days. The video ends with a classic Alex meltdown. How can he be that cute when he is that upset. We have learned that Alex needs the “count down” approach before switching to a new activity.

Pool Fun from swahe on Vimeo.

Michael’s Dance Moves (2 of 4)
This video gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Roboto. Michael does love to dance! Grandpa also loves to play with his grandchildren.

Michael Dancing from swahe on Vimeo.

Alex Batting (3 of 4)
The damage is already done. Yes he is wearing a Cubs jersey. But as you can see in the video, he was hitting the ball better the D. Lee has been all of 2010.

Alex Baseball from swahe on Vimeo.

Alex Swinging (4 of 4)
Alex is swinging up high. We are also trying to get him to talk about. One of the other things Alex’s foster mother was interested in was knowing what Alex sounds like. And yes Michael was helping push his big brother high.

Alex from swahe on Vimeo.

Our Sweet Dog, Meeka

This message comes with my very heavy heart, to say that our sweet dog, Meeka has passed away.

She passed away a few weeks ago, but I could not write this post without totally bawling my eyes out, so I did not.

Meeka was a very special, and extraordinary dog.    She was 16 (yes, 16!!) years old.    Here are my thoughts about Meeka, probably a little random, because again, I’m typing this through my tears.

I got Meeka from an animal shelter….a mixed breed dog, who came in as a stray, with matted fur, shaved, and with heartworm.    I heard about this “sweet, docile” dog at the animal shelter, and decided to go meet her.    After our intital meeting, I decided I needed to adopt her.    Mind you…..I was single, starting my own business, and traveling a lot.   What was I thinking?   Well, we fell in love with each other, so that was my answer.

I have many fond memories of my companion.   She witnessed many chapters in my life  where she saw some of my most joyous joys, and my most heart-wrenching lows.   She gave me love every time.

She came to work with me every day that I had my business and warehouse.    She made many  friends while at work—of my employees, and of others in our building.     Other people would come to our warehouse, just to visit Meeka.    To some people in our building, I was only known as “Meeka’s Mom”, and many people did not even know my name!    Every day, at about 2 pm, Meeka would come to me, and nudge my elbow.   This meant she wanted to go and visit her friends in the building.    So we would.   She knew all the people in the other offices in our building who loved her, and she knew all the stops she needed to make to get doggy treats, brought in especially for her.  This was a special time for both of us, and a good break in my day where I was reminded of what really mattered in life……a little snack, a little love, and a little walk would make all the angst of the day go away.

A few years ago, as she was getting older, I wanted to see what breed she really was.   Logically, I know I will never be able to replace Meeka, but in my heart, I would love to.    Her breeds were  always a mystery, and I had my guesses, but wanted to know for certain.   I found a DNA test ($60), and sent in a swab/sample from her cheek.    Well, I was right on half of it, and then totally wrong on the other half…..It turned out that she was half Chow Chow (that I guessed), half German Shepard (!!), and a little Doberman Pinscher thrown in to make things interesting.   Wow!   Well, that solved the mystery, and I have to admit my perception of German Shepards totally changed after getting back the results.

She was the perfect dog.   She touched a lot of people, and she will always hold a very special place in my heart, in our family’s heart, and in many other people’s hearts.   She is the definition of extraordinary.    I miss her so much.

I Graduated from “Button-Pushing 101”

Michelle Here.

I’m trying to think of something to say, without sounding like a broken record……life here is pretty boring, and that’s exactly how we want it.      Michael continues to adjust well, and Alex is still taking on his new ‘big brother’ role and his world being rocked, with the as much grace as a two year old is capable of.

With the quantity of days I have been taking care of the two boys by myself increases, so has my knowledge, and overall ease of the days.

I am finding that keeping things uneventful, unemotional (as in tantrums), and even-keel is my only goal for the day.    If, by the end of the day, I’ve accomplished that, I consider it a success.    Since Alex has become a big brother, I have noticed that his emotions have become more intense…….when he is happy, he is more happy, and he is frustrated, he is more frustrated.    I have come to realize  the relationship between  Alex and me is the pinnacle of whether we all have good days, or bad days.    Alex knows how to push my buttons.   He’s a really, really smart kid.    That will some day work in my favor.   Right now, I keep reminding myself of that ‘someday’!     He knows how to push his boundaries, and he knows how to push the boundaries with his mama.    I’ve found that if I get upset, or try to control him, things go South very quickly.   That leads to a tailspin with little brother, and the balance of the entire house shifts (so if you drive by our house one day, and see it shifted downward, just keep driving….you do not want to know!)     To curb this, I’ve  been practicing my ‘stay calm, breathe deeply’ skill.    It is working most of the time with big brother.    When I start to find myself losing patience, I turn it around, and look at the world through his eyes.  I speak to him through his point of view.    This has helped, and  therefore, the entire day can go really, really well.    I’ve found that if I speak to him as if he has control and is making his own decisions, life is smooth.    If I try to dictate…..no way, no go.   Tantrums.  Whining.  Pushing Little Bro.      So……..I’m off to practice more breathing exercises to prepare myself  for the next button-pushing event.

Enjoy the photos.

Photos!

The Belly Laugh.

Stopping at Monona Bait and Ice Cream.....for ice cream, of course.

Feeding the ducks w/Grandma and Grandpa.

Alex and Grandpa

Down and Out.

Mr. Fish #1 and Mr. Fish #2

Getting into a Routine, Part 2

Michelle Here.

I’m often technologically challenged, and this is yet another example of it.    I posted pictures, and don’t know how to add the text….so here’s a separate post, with text.

Things are falling into place, and we are getting into a routine.    That is helping all of us, and it feels really good.

We have also gotten together with two different playgroups in the last week.    One was with the Korean Momma’s from the Rockford area.   They had a playdate about 45 minutes away, so Alex, Michael, and I took a road trip to see our friends.   This was the first outing that I had with two boys, and just me.    I was exhausted by the time we got home, but we had a great time;  I’m glad we went.    It definately is different with two kiddos.    On top of that, I was holding Michael more than what we will be in the future, because, well, that’s what he wanted.    He took everything in stride, and did great on his first outing.    He watched everyone, and watched the kids play in the wading pool.   He feel asleep in my arms, and I was able to transfer him over to the stroller to continue his nap……something I’ve never been able to do with Alex.    So, it was a successful trip, and can’t wait to see everyone again.

We also attended a picnic with the Madison area Korean Adoptive Families, and had a great time there as well.    It was man-on-man defense for that outing, because all 4 of us got to go.    We have a great group of friends, and we’re so glad we are able to surround ourselves with such awesome, supportive, been-there-done-that people.

So….that wraps up our week.   Enjoy the photos!