Wahe's World

First Week Home

Stefan here.    Max has been living in Wisconsin now for one week.  In that time he has been introduced to his two brothers, his dog, his cat, both sets of grandparents and a whole bunch of new, noisy and fun toys. And he is doing great.  One question that I did receive a day or so ago is, “are things returning to normal?” Based on this picture, I would have to say yes:

Yes we, and Michelle, are largely full of smiles and laughter.  We never question if Max would take to his brothers. He has fully. We did question how Alex and Michael would adjust to a new little brother.  No matter how many times they told us how much they wanted a little brother, we knew there would be moments of tears and comments.  If you’re a sibling you can probably remember uttering such comments about the little usurper.    All these relationships will flourish with time, nurture, patience, and love.   Alex and Michael realize that Max likes following them and doing what they are doing.  Therefore Max has learned how to climb the play-set lader, do tricks on the slide, climb onto the couch, tackle Dad and much, much more.

So what about the normal part?  We realized that normal is out the window when the nurse at the doctor’s office asks the question, “can he follow two sentence instructions?” We understand the logic and purpose of the question.  But we could only laugh as we state our happiness that he understands any of our English and sing language at this point. And we are happy with what he understands – which is actually a lot.  However, in only a week we can understand with compassion the sad look in his eyes as he drifts off to sleep as he attempts to comprehend the massive changes in his life over the past weeks. Is this normal? Tell me what is normal about any family up and down any block anywhere in the world. I say that normal is the smiles on our faces and our children’s faces as we play, learn and love.

 

Home: Three Boys!

We spent 27 hours on the road from leaving the hotel Friday morning in China to arriving home Friday afternoon in Wisconsin. The trip itself was uneventful. Thankfully.  Max did a great job with only a few brief explosions of energy.  He cried once or twice and appeared sad on occasion.  He seemed to understand he was leaving his birth country for a different life in the land of cheese. It is hard to believe that we still look this could after being in planes, airports and lines for that length of time.

 We had a great welcome from Michael and Alex when we got in the door.  We got in just before 8:00 PM.    And the boys were very excited to show Max lots of toys, and show him his new bedroom.

Alex has really embraced his role of big brother (x2).     He’s watching out for Max every step of the way.     It has surprised us for how much he cares for him, and we have not (yet) seen the sibling rivialry.     Michael has been having a gamut of emotions.    He is definately still getting settled into new role as big brother.    He’s very sensitive, and he’s working through his emotions.     So, at times, things are touch and go, but he’s figuring everything out.

Grandpa Max is giving Little Max his first guitar lesson.

On Saturday morning,  I made pancakes and eggs for the boys to eat.  Max was not too sure of my cooking yet and opted for some dumplings a friend dropped off. The day was spent playing and laughing and giving the boys a chance to get to know Max.

Michael is enjoying being a brig brother (for the most part)

Max enjoying his first popsicle with his brothers.

Michael teaching Max how to climb the playset ladder.

The three boys and grandparents on Max’s first adventure to the neighborhood park.   Max’s first transportation choice was the extra 2-wheel bicycle he found in the garage.    But we talked him into the red car.    He already wanted to be just like his big brothers.

And the result at the end of the days is …

The boys relaxing on the couch before bed time.

Posted by swahe in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Last Day: Two of Us (+1) On Our Way Home

There is a Beatles song for every occasion. This one sums it up.

Two of us wearing raincoats
Standing solo
In the sun
You and me chasing paper
Getting nowhere
On our way back home
We’re on our way home
We’re on our way home
We’re going home

It happens to be raining here in Guangzhou. Michelle is packing our bags. We have collected Max’s travel Visa from Kelly. And Max is doing some of his own paper chasing.  We are so excited to be heading out in the morning. Home is calling us especially the two little voices of Alex and Michael).

Posted by swahe in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Day 13: The US Consulate and Winding Down

We are within out last 36 hours of being in China. There is not a lot left to do besides wait. With Max, he is not spending his last few days in China quietly. He is definitely a (almost) two-year-old who is very active, noisy and who knows what he wants.  He has gotten a little too used to sleeping in the same room with us.  So bed times has been a little more challenging the last night or so. However, that smile and little laugh keeps winning us over.

Today was the big appointment at the US Consulate to wrap-up the piles of paper work.  I have never been to a US Embassy or Consulate.  I probably watched too many spy movies and read too many books, but I was hoping for a little more intrigue. More walls. More guards. More security.  Instead we got an office tower wedged in the middle of the city.  But maybe less drama was a good thing.  We were there with a dozen or so other families finalizing their adoption documents.  The group listened to a final set of instructions and took a group otah (but not the citizens oath).   We got teary-eyed as we realized the journey that brought the three of us together. Max knowingly or unknowing demonstrated a sense of pride to be recognized as part of our family.

After the oath, each family got called up individually to a window. Much like being at a bank or worse, the DMV.  This was to sign a few more documents, exchanges documents and warp-up. Our guide could not be with us in the consulate but gave us explicit instructions on what we should be signing and getting.  Michelle was focusing on the consulate worker as I tried to contain Max in my arms. He was being very wiggly. As Michelle was confirming what we did Max lunged forward and got sick on the floor. Guess he was a bit nervous after all (or something). But we rolled with it like the veterans we are becoming.     He was all smiles a minute after the episode, and he’s been great since, so we’re racking it up to  a typical 2 year old up-chuck.

At the time, since we were not sure if Max was not feeling well or was just too excited, we decided we should head back to the hotel instead of venturing out too far. On the drive back I finally figured out what driving around Guangzhou reminds me of; driving along a noodle on a plate of spaghetti.  At time driving along you look into the windows of the fourth floor of office buildings or apartments, much like riding the L in Chicago. At other times you drop back to ground level only to ride back up to an elevated road to then exit into a back-ally freeway. Very odd sensation.

Back at the hotel Max was showing he was rested and ready to do something before his nap. We decided to go for a stroll in the one of the nearby parks. The goal was to let the boy run a bit. In the park we saw a bride and groom posing for a photographer. Thursday can’t be a wedding day in China, could it? Nope. Couples will get dressed up before the wedding for these photo shoots. Then they will have albums ready to pass around at their wedding reception.

After nap time Max was … okay it was really Stefan needed to get out of the hotel room. We decided to give the pool another try.  The one in Hefei was not the best.  The one here was out doors and very beautiful   Max had spent the last two days going and walking around the pool.  We thought it we would see if Max wanted to go for a swim and maybe see some of his friends from the morning visit to the consultant. Max was not too eager to do more then get his hand wet.  He sat by Stefan on the edge. And he kept an eye on Mom.

 

Day 12: The Guangzhou Zoo

Michelle here.      We’ve officially been here long enough to feel like residents.    We are in a routine, we feel comfortable going out and about, and we are craving certain Chinese foods.  Oh, and we have the cutest toddler ever.

Today, our guide, her mother in law, and her 2 year old son took us to the Guangzhou Zoo.  We had a great time walking around the grounds, showing Max all the animals, and watching the two little boys run around. We were excited to see Pandas, but learned a very important Panda fact:   April is the month to set Pandas up on dates with the goal of creating more pandas. So…..no panda at this zoo.    He was shipped to another zoo for some one-on-one time with a special friend.  We did get to feed the giraffes. We thought about Alex and Michael a lot during this, because Alex got to feed the giraffes at the Phoenix Zoo. He still talks about it. BUT todays feeding was filled with drama.    During our feeding time, I noticed one of the giraffes was eating our leaves, and giving birth at the same time!!!! (no males Panda was envolved)    I pointed this  to the zoo employee, and she immediately contacted the zoo keepers.    They scurried us away, but it was quite exciting.     I do hope the little guy was born all OK.    It was quite a memorable event.

A few random thoughts:    you may have noticed Max is wearing a jacket in many of the photos.     So, you may deduce that it’s a little chilly here in GZ.    Well, it’s not.    It’s about 75/80 degrees, and very humid.     We dress Max in a jacket, for fear of having gray- haired women run up to us, and yell at us for being bad parents because our son needs to stay warm.     Max is unfazed by the jacket, so we roll with it.

We’ve learned, now after transitioning 3 sons into our arms, that the way to give them boundaries is to tell them what TO DO, and minimize what NOT to do.   So, this turns into a game with little Max, that’s very cute to watch.   Picture this:   he walks over to the hotel room phone.   Picks it up, looks at me, and smiles, with his classic twinkle in his eyes.    I give him a hand gesture, ‘all done’.    He puts it back, and I exclaim, “YEAH!”.     So….to get me to say ‘yeah’ all the time, the loop continues.    He also gives me sign language for ‘thank you’ after doing this.    In the end, he’s very proud of himself, so that’s all that matters at this point.        Another thing he loves to do, because he gets lots of positive reinforcement from me,  is give me a big hug, and a big smooch, smack dab on my lips.    He’s like an awkward school boy, when he puts his arm around my head, and plants a wet kiss on me.     And I LOVE it.    He again is so proud of himself, as I’m saying, ‘yeah!’, that he keeps doing it.      He’ll do it without warning, so I get these unanticipated, little-boy smooches throughout the day.

We’ve fallen into the routine of going to the hotel’s play area after his nap, so it’s been fun to let him burn some energy, and to meet other parents.    We still have a hankerin’ for pizza, so tonight, we’re going to order Papa John’s and eat in the hotel.    Tomorrow is our US consulate appointment, and then a little free time after.

We miss Alex and Michael, and are ready to get home, and introduce them to their awesome little brother.      We are ready for the next layer of transition for the boys to be a brother one more time.

More pictures of our day …

Posted by Michelle in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Day 11: Chen Family Temple and Dinner Dates

 

Stefan here.   So what are we doing in Guangzhou, China? Right now waiting for our appointment at the American Consultate.  Our appointment is scheduled for Wednesday morning.  Then on Thursday, we will receive Max’s travel visa to leave China on Friday.  So until Wednesday we are being tourists. So today our guide took us to the Chen Family Temple.

The Chen Temple seems to be an iconic representation of the history of China more over the past 100 odd years rather then the 2,000+ year history of the people of China. The Temple stands today more as an example to demonstrate the cultural history of the providence. What I found more interesting was the history behind why the temple was not destroyed in the numerous wars, occupations and other hostilities.  I think this was also interesting in visiting similar family temples in Korea.   I was very impressed with how ornate the carvings the adorned the building as well as some of the paintings.   It really turns out the Temple was a house used to educate members of the Chen family.  The open areas were adorned with a variety of trees, shrubs and topiaries. I could have sat and in the middle of the plants a let my mind wonder four hours if there were not a bunch of other tourists around – an and a two-year old hanging off my shoulder.

 Tonight we had dinner with our friends the Evans.  This is the couple who adopted their first little girl when we were in Korea visiting Michael in 2010.  It was great to catch-up and hear how their lives have changed over the past three years and to see them now as a family of four.   Turns out we actually have another adoption friend in common. It is a small world after all. The dinner we had was amazing. At first we weren’t too sure what to expect.  We thought it might be good since there was a lot of people there the night before.  However, we started second guessing ourselves as we passed tanks of giant fish, turtles and lobsters to then review a menu that was the size of the dictionary.  But we found a good selection for the group to try.  Everything was good. And Max ate his fill of beef noodles and fried rice. I even got a spicy lamb dish that hit the spot after not being to adventurous over the past week. 

Max is doing well.  We are much happier now that we can take him to a play area in the hotel to burn some energy.  When we first discussed bringing another brother into our family with Michael, he placed his hand on top of mine,  looked me in the eye and told me, “I don’t want another Alex.”  Since then, Michael warmed up to the idea. However, as I watch Max run, laugh, smile, grab randomly at stuff and shout, I am realizing that Michael is getting another Alex.  But that is okay, since I know how much Michael loves his brother and loves being just as energetic too.

It appears that Michelle and Max have ended their day.  I should think about ending my day too. We are missing home and counting down the days until we are back in Madison with Alex and Michael. 

Day 10: Guangzhou and first visit to Shamian Island

Michelle here. Posting our update while Max is napping. Things here are going well. We’ve been getting to know our new ‘hood here in Guangzhou.

Yesterday afternoon, we walked to a park a few blocks from our hotel. It was very serene, compared to the hustle bustle of the city. Max ran around a bit, and then we headed back to the hotel, because storms were looming.    We got back just in time, so it was nice to be able to stay dry.  This is the same neighborhood where the GZ Gift Show is. I have attended this show, back in the day of the crazy life I had as a business owner. I think I was here in 2002 and 2003. I can’t quite remember, but I do recognize much of the exhibition halls. The busy part of the show is starting this week, and we’re seeing lots of westerners in town, as well as seeing lots of factory owners. It is easily taking me back to those days of resourcing factories at this show. Who would have ever guessed, that 10 years later, I would be back, with a terrific husband, bringing home a total sweetheart of a little boy. Actually, in my heart, at the time, I did feel that I would be back for that reason, and it’s cool to have to come true.

Today, we had breakfast at the hotel, which is the best breakfast buffet I have ever had (Marriott China for my traveling adoptive friends).   It’s huge, with tons of Chinese and Western foods. The hotel seats all us adoptive families in one section, so it’s fun to see everyone, with their children, and connect with others.

Our guide then had a driver take us to Shamian Island for the morning. It’s a beautiful neighborhood, with a Historic British influence. There are beautiful walkways and gardens.  There are shops too, but we passed up the shops, so we could let Max run around. He had a lot of fun walking up and down the walkways, watching folks play badminton, watching folks sight see, and overall passing the time. The US Consulate is here, so we’ll be back to this area on Wednesday to process the application for Max’s US visa. Click here if you want to learn about Shamian Island

So……we’ll see what tonight brings us. The hotel has an awesome outdoor play area for kids, so I’m sure we’ll head down there, as well as catch a bite to eat. I have a hankerin’ for pizza, so we’ll see if we can find a pizza place.   Otherwise, there are good restaurants in this area, so I’m sure we’ll find something good where ever we end up.

Max is still doing great. He’s taken to babbling more, and telling us babble stories, complete with hand gestures, eye contact, passionate exclamations, and giggles. He’s eating a little more too. The first days, his diet preferences were pretty narrow.  So he’s taken to more foods now.  That’s something that comes with time, and we’ve seen progress on that.

Thanks again for reading our blog, your comments, and your FB comments. We appreciate them, and feel like we have a cheering team from afar.

Also, if you want a little more info on Guangzhou, here’s a link. It’s population is 13 million, which to put that into perspective, the population of New York City is approx. 8.5 million, and the population of Seoul is approx. 10 million. We, of course, have seen only a small portion of it.      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guangzhou

 

 

Day 9: First Day in Guangzhou

Michelle Here.    Just wanted to give you an update.    Max is napping soundly, after a busy morning.

But first, since Stefan’s post yesterday, we had a long trip to GZ, but glad we’re finally here.     I could not say ‘good bye’ to that hotel room in Hefei soon enough.     It was dirty, we felt isolated, because there was nothing kid-friendly about the place or neighborhood, so we were literally climbing the walls, and Stefan and I were sick.     So  bye bye, and glad you’re in our rear-view mirror.     We’re starting fresh here in GZ, and it feels great.

In Hefei, at 5 pm,  our guide and driver picked us up to head to the airport.    The Hefei airport was like no other I have been to, and I’ve been to a lot.     It was organzied (I think) loud chaos.     We were glad to have the security blanket of our guide navigate us through to security.     Once we reached our (dirty) gate, we saw our new BFF’s who were in Hefei at the same time (staying at the much nicer Hilton), so it was good to connect with them.    Our flight was delayed, and full.    We ended up walking into our hotel room at 12:20 a.m.     BUT the shining star in all of this:    MAX!    He was an absolute trooper through all of it.    We really could have had the equation for potential disaster:   not being fed a real meal, up way past his bedtime, being in chaos with us newbies to him, and on a packed flight with a lap seat for a 2 year old.     Well, he rocked it.      He was entertained by people watching at the airport, and he fell asleep about 30 minutes after take off.    He had some episodes of crying before takeoff, but he did great.    We landed in GZ, and he was all smiles, until he finally fell asleep in our room at about 1 a.m.    He woke up at 6:30 am all smiles.

This morning we headed to get his visa photo taken, and his official medical exam.    More organized, loud, hot, chaos.     Here, about 30 adoptive families were there for the same appointment.   Our guide helped us navigate the steps, one by one, and we were out of there in about an hour.     Headed back to the hotel, and it’s naptime.    Whew!      There is a lot more things to do around this hotel, so we are very, very grateful.    There’s also a playroom here that we are looking forward to checking out.    This hotel (the China Marriott) seems to be the main hotel for adoptive families because we have seen a ton of families.     So it’s good to have connection.

Here is the most AMAZING thing that happened today:    While in the hotel restuarant having breakfast, we noticed some familiar faces.    We recognized them as the family we hung around with on trip #2 in KOREA!!     While in Korea, we had randomly connected (we were both staying at the Eastern guesthouse), and were our BFF’s during that trip.    We went to a show together, had dinners, had Starbucks.    Had a great time with them.    Well, we lost touch over the 3 years.    And we saw them today, in CHINA!      We sat together for breakfast, and we were all in disbelief that our paths have crossed in this way again.     We got to see their new daughter, and their daughter they traveled for in Korea.    You can read the original blogpost here.

Max is doing well.    It’s funny how everyone who meets him, falls in love with him immediately.     He has this way about him, with a smile, a twinkle in his eye, and a wave that melts people’s hearts.    He’s interactive with folks, while still holding onto the security of us.   He’s quick to imitate us, so he’s been picking up on sign language, and trying to say English words.    It’s really helping in our/his attachment, because he can feel that we are understanding his wants and emotions.     So….there you have it.   We’re looking forward to exploring our new neighborhood a little tonight, and see who we run into from the adoption world tonight.

And a few more pictures for good measure …

 

Day 8: Catching-Up

Hey all. I am now feeling a lot better then yesterday.  I am set to pack the family up and head to Guangzhou at the end of the day (Friday).  Michelle and Max did great going solo yesterday.  Max and I had to do the same today as Michelle is battling a bit of a bug. Both are gently napping right now. I think all three of us are growing a bit tired of our time hanging out at the Holiday Inn in Hefei. We are anxious for a change of scenery.

We have been asked a few times on why we have to be in Hefei for this length of time.  The main reason is that Max had to wait until they processed his travel passport. All the documentes were finalized on Tuesday regarding his transitioning his care from his orphanage to Michelle and I.  So taking two days to turn around a passport is pretty good. We are appreciative of Georgiana for making sure we were crossing all out T ‘s and dotting all our I’s.

We will be spending the next week in Guangzhou where the American consulate will process Max’s information so that when we land in the US, he will be a US citizen and the adoption paperwork will be finalized.

During Wednesday’s museum visit, we discovered that Max is reluctant to step over any grates or thresholds.  The prime example can be seen in these two photos.  He has the same hesitation for elevators, escalators, the barrier in the rotating restaurant or anything with a pronounced gap.  This, I hope, is a good thing as I typically use the sidewalk around our house as such a boundary

Max, Michelle and Georgiana visited the Temple yesterday (Thursday).  Max made a friend.  Oh the power of superhero action figures and friendship.

And of coure the daily picture of cuteness, this time a double dose …

We leave Hefei at 7:15 tonight. This will be, to the best of our knowledge, Max’s first air plane ride.  Since this has been his bed time, we hope he sleeps through the flight.  But we are anticipating a bit of anxiousness as well.

Oh one more thing before signing off from Hefei (I think i just like typing Hefei).  It is amazing how quickly Max is picking up on our English. He is following instructions such as wave and say thank you.

 

 

Day 7: Thursday

Michelle here.    Just a quick note.   Our VPN to get onto FB is not working right now, but we are able to get into the blog.

Last night, Stefan came down with a stomach/travel bug.    So he was up most of the night.    It’s much better now, and he’s feeling better.    Just getting back his strength.    Max is continuing to do well.    He and I turned a corner in his attachment.     He’s now coming to me to look for comfort.   I think the switch got flipped when Stefan was sick.   I was the best he had    So now we’re best buddies, and it’s fun to get his hugs from him.

This morning, our guide took Max and me on a tour of a temple in Hefei.    It was a beautiful day, on beautiful grounds.    It was good for Max to run around.    He definately is on track in little-boy-gross-motor skills!    He made a new friend (3 years old).    They discussed what I witnessed must be in little boy DNA:   super heroes and bikes.    The little 3 year old had both, and Max was enthralled.       Max continues to babble a ton.   He is now imitating our words, and is using sign to tell us things.

So…going back to get some hugs from our little guy.     Thanks for all your cheers and words of encouragement, and overall positive energy.    We feel it, and appreciate it!