Wahe's World

First Week Home

Stefan here.    Max has been living in Wisconsin now for one week.  In that time he has been introduced to his two brothers, his dog, his cat, both sets of grandparents and a whole bunch of new, noisy and fun toys. And he is doing great.  One question that I did receive a day or so ago is, “are things returning to normal?” Based on this picture, I would have to say yes:

Yes we, and Michelle, are largely full of smiles and laughter.  We never question if Max would take to his brothers. He has fully. We did question how Alex and Michael would adjust to a new little brother.  No matter how many times they told us how much they wanted a little brother, we knew there would be moments of tears and comments.  If you’re a sibling you can probably remember uttering such comments about the little usurper.    All these relationships will flourish with time, nurture, patience, and love.   Alex and Michael realize that Max likes following them and doing what they are doing.  Therefore Max has learned how to climb the play-set lader, do tricks on the slide, climb onto the couch, tackle Dad and much, much more.

So what about the normal part?  We realized that normal is out the window when the nurse at the doctor’s office asks the question, “can he follow two sentence instructions?” We understand the logic and purpose of the question.  But we could only laugh as we state our happiness that he understands any of our English and sing language at this point. And we are happy with what he understands – which is actually a lot.  However, in only a week we can understand with compassion the sad look in his eyes as he drifts off to sleep as he attempts to comprehend the massive changes in his life over the past weeks. Is this normal? Tell me what is normal about any family up and down any block anywhere in the world. I say that normal is the smiles on our faces and our children’s faces as we play, learn and love.

 

Home: Three Boys!

We spent 27 hours on the road from leaving the hotel Friday morning in China to arriving home Friday afternoon in Wisconsin. The trip itself was uneventful. Thankfully.  Max did a great job with only a few brief explosions of energy.  He cried once or twice and appeared sad on occasion.  He seemed to understand he was leaving his birth country for a different life in the land of cheese. It is hard to believe that we still look this could after being in planes, airports and lines for that length of time.

 We had a great welcome from Michael and Alex when we got in the door.  We got in just before 8:00 PM.    And the boys were very excited to show Max lots of toys, and show him his new bedroom.

Alex has really embraced his role of big brother (x2).     He’s watching out for Max every step of the way.     It has surprised us for how much he cares for him, and we have not (yet) seen the sibling rivialry.     Michael has been having a gamut of emotions.    He is definately still getting settled into new role as big brother.    He’s very sensitive, and he’s working through his emotions.     So, at times, things are touch and go, but he’s figuring everything out.

Grandpa Max is giving Little Max his first guitar lesson.

On Saturday morning,  I made pancakes and eggs for the boys to eat.  Max was not too sure of my cooking yet and opted for some dumplings a friend dropped off. The day was spent playing and laughing and giving the boys a chance to get to know Max.

Michael is enjoying being a brig brother (for the most part)

Max enjoying his first popsicle with his brothers.

Michael teaching Max how to climb the playset ladder.

The three boys and grandparents on Max’s first adventure to the neighborhood park.   Max’s first transportation choice was the extra 2-wheel bicycle he found in the garage.    But we talked him into the red car.    He already wanted to be just like his big brothers.

And the result at the end of the days is …

The boys relaxing on the couch before bed time.

Posted by swahe in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Last Day: Two of Us (+1) On Our Way Home

There is a Beatles song for every occasion. This one sums it up.

Two of us wearing raincoats
Standing solo
In the sun
You and me chasing paper
Getting nowhere
On our way back home
We’re on our way home
We’re on our way home
We’re going home

It happens to be raining here in Guangzhou. Michelle is packing our bags. We have collected Max’s travel Visa from Kelly. And Max is doing some of his own paper chasing.  We are so excited to be heading out in the morning. Home is calling us especially the two little voices of Alex and Michael).

Posted by swahe in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Day 13: The US Consulate and Winding Down

We are within out last 36 hours of being in China. There is not a lot left to do besides wait. With Max, he is not spending his last few days in China quietly. He is definitely a (almost) two-year-old who is very active, noisy and who knows what he wants.  He has gotten a little too used to sleeping in the same room with us.  So bed times has been a little more challenging the last night or so. However, that smile and little laugh keeps winning us over.

Today was the big appointment at the US Consulate to wrap-up the piles of paper work.  I have never been to a US Embassy or Consulate.  I probably watched too many spy movies and read too many books, but I was hoping for a little more intrigue. More walls. More guards. More security.  Instead we got an office tower wedged in the middle of the city.  But maybe less drama was a good thing.  We were there with a dozen or so other families finalizing their adoption documents.  The group listened to a final set of instructions and took a group otah (but not the citizens oath).   We got teary-eyed as we realized the journey that brought the three of us together. Max knowingly or unknowing demonstrated a sense of pride to be recognized as part of our family.

After the oath, each family got called up individually to a window. Much like being at a bank or worse, the DMV.  This was to sign a few more documents, exchanges documents and warp-up. Our guide could not be with us in the consulate but gave us explicit instructions on what we should be signing and getting.  Michelle was focusing on the consulate worker as I tried to contain Max in my arms. He was being very wiggly. As Michelle was confirming what we did Max lunged forward and got sick on the floor. Guess he was a bit nervous after all (or something). But we rolled with it like the veterans we are becoming.     He was all smiles a minute after the episode, and he’s been great since, so we’re racking it up to  a typical 2 year old up-chuck.

At the time, since we were not sure if Max was not feeling well or was just too excited, we decided we should head back to the hotel instead of venturing out too far. On the drive back I finally figured out what driving around Guangzhou reminds me of; driving along a noodle on a plate of spaghetti.  At time driving along you look into the windows of the fourth floor of office buildings or apartments, much like riding the L in Chicago. At other times you drop back to ground level only to ride back up to an elevated road to then exit into a back-ally freeway. Very odd sensation.

Back at the hotel Max was showing he was rested and ready to do something before his nap. We decided to go for a stroll in the one of the nearby parks. The goal was to let the boy run a bit. In the park we saw a bride and groom posing for a photographer. Thursday can’t be a wedding day in China, could it? Nope. Couples will get dressed up before the wedding for these photo shoots. Then they will have albums ready to pass around at their wedding reception.

After nap time Max was … okay it was really Stefan needed to get out of the hotel room. We decided to give the pool another try.  The one in Hefei was not the best.  The one here was out doors and very beautiful   Max had spent the last two days going and walking around the pool.  We thought it we would see if Max wanted to go for a swim and maybe see some of his friends from the morning visit to the consultant. Max was not too eager to do more then get his hand wet.  He sat by Stefan on the edge. And he kept an eye on Mom.

 

Day 12: The Guangzhou Zoo

Michelle here.      We’ve officially been here long enough to feel like residents.    We are in a routine, we feel comfortable going out and about, and we are craving certain Chinese foods.  Oh, and we have the cutest toddler ever.

Today, our guide, her mother in law, and her 2 year old son took us to the Guangzhou Zoo.  We had a great time walking around the grounds, showing Max all the animals, and watching the two little boys run around. We were excited to see Pandas, but learned a very important Panda fact:   April is the month to set Pandas up on dates with the goal of creating more pandas. So…..no panda at this zoo.    He was shipped to another zoo for some one-on-one time with a special friend.  We did get to feed the giraffes. We thought about Alex and Michael a lot during this, because Alex got to feed the giraffes at the Phoenix Zoo. He still talks about it. BUT todays feeding was filled with drama.    During our feeding time, I noticed one of the giraffes was eating our leaves, and giving birth at the same time!!!! (no males Panda was envolved)    I pointed this  to the zoo employee, and she immediately contacted the zoo keepers.    They scurried us away, but it was quite exciting.     I do hope the little guy was born all OK.    It was quite a memorable event.

A few random thoughts:    you may have noticed Max is wearing a jacket in many of the photos.     So, you may deduce that it’s a little chilly here in GZ.    Well, it’s not.    It’s about 75/80 degrees, and very humid.     We dress Max in a jacket, for fear of having gray- haired women run up to us, and yell at us for being bad parents because our son needs to stay warm.     Max is unfazed by the jacket, so we roll with it.

We’ve learned, now after transitioning 3 sons into our arms, that the way to give them boundaries is to tell them what TO DO, and minimize what NOT to do.   So, this turns into a game with little Max, that’s very cute to watch.   Picture this:   he walks over to the hotel room phone.   Picks it up, looks at me, and smiles, with his classic twinkle in his eyes.    I give him a hand gesture, ‘all done’.    He puts it back, and I exclaim, “YEAH!”.     So….to get me to say ‘yeah’ all the time, the loop continues.    He also gives me sign language for ‘thank you’ after doing this.    In the end, he’s very proud of himself, so that’s all that matters at this point.        Another thing he loves to do, because he gets lots of positive reinforcement from me,  is give me a big hug, and a big smooch, smack dab on my lips.    He’s like an awkward school boy, when he puts his arm around my head, and plants a wet kiss on me.     And I LOVE it.    He again is so proud of himself, as I’m saying, ‘yeah!’, that he keeps doing it.      He’ll do it without warning, so I get these unanticipated, little-boy smooches throughout the day.

We’ve fallen into the routine of going to the hotel’s play area after his nap, so it’s been fun to let him burn some energy, and to meet other parents.    We still have a hankerin’ for pizza, so tonight, we’re going to order Papa John’s and eat in the hotel.    Tomorrow is our US consulate appointment, and then a little free time after.

We miss Alex and Michael, and are ready to get home, and introduce them to their awesome little brother.      We are ready for the next layer of transition for the boys to be a brother one more time.

More pictures of our day …

Posted by Michelle in Adoptions, Max's Journey

Day 11: Chen Family Temple and Dinner Dates

 

Stefan here.   So what are we doing in Guangzhou, China? Right now waiting for our appointment at the American Consultate.  Our appointment is scheduled for Wednesday morning.  Then on Thursday, we will receive Max’s travel visa to leave China on Friday.  So until Wednesday we are being tourists. So today our guide took us to the Chen Family Temple.

The Chen Temple seems to be an iconic representation of the history of China more over the past 100 odd years rather then the 2,000+ year history of the people of China. The Temple stands today more as an example to demonstrate the cultural history of the providence. What I found more interesting was the history behind why the temple was not destroyed in the numerous wars, occupations and other hostilities.  I think this was also interesting in visiting similar family temples in Korea.   I was very impressed with how ornate the carvings the adorned the building as well as some of the paintings.   It really turns out the Temple was a house used to educate members of the Chen family.  The open areas were adorned with a variety of trees, shrubs and topiaries. I could have sat and in the middle of the plants a let my mind wonder four hours if there were not a bunch of other tourists around – an and a two-year old hanging off my shoulder.

 Tonight we had dinner with our friends the Evans.  This is the couple who adopted their first little girl when we were in Korea visiting Michael in 2010.  It was great to catch-up and hear how their lives have changed over the past three years and to see them now as a family of four.   Turns out we actually have another adoption friend in common. It is a small world after all. The dinner we had was amazing. At first we weren’t too sure what to expect.  We thought it might be good since there was a lot of people there the night before.  However, we started second guessing ourselves as we passed tanks of giant fish, turtles and lobsters to then review a menu that was the size of the dictionary.  But we found a good selection for the group to try.  Everything was good. And Max ate his fill of beef noodles and fried rice. I even got a spicy lamb dish that hit the spot after not being to adventurous over the past week. 

Max is doing well.  We are much happier now that we can take him to a play area in the hotel to burn some energy.  When we first discussed bringing another brother into our family with Michael, he placed his hand on top of mine,  looked me in the eye and told me, “I don’t want another Alex.”  Since then, Michael warmed up to the idea. However, as I watch Max run, laugh, smile, grab randomly at stuff and shout, I am realizing that Michael is getting another Alex.  But that is okay, since I know how much Michael loves his brother and loves being just as energetic too.

It appears that Michelle and Max have ended their day.  I should think about ending my day too. We are missing home and counting down the days until we are back in Madison with Alex and Michael.